I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
