My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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