Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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