I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
