oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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