I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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