There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
