you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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