wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
