I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
