I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
