How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
