i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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