Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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