Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
