I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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