ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
