I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
