If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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