I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
