So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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