remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
