you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think i got beer on your cat.
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