Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize