So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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