How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
