:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
