He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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