I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
