Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
