her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
