She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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