Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
