You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
