that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
