My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize