she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize