I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
