the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm at about main and main street
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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