Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
