I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
COCAINE IS GR8
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize