I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize