i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
