I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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