Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
