We named our party play list daddy issues
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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