U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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