Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
