I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
