two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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