if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
