I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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