My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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