He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
