every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he quoted the bible to break up with me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
