So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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