You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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