I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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