i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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