ugly people sure do ruin things
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
