apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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