did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
