you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
