just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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