yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize