$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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