Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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