She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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