My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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